A few weeks ago, I was standing in front of the marquee at the movie house. I had stopped lamenting the bevy of poor life decisions that have lead me to this point long enough to actually focus on what was in front me. The marquee displayed almost nothing original:
Wrath of the Titans (a sequel to remake), American Reunion (a sequel/desperate money grab for Jason Biggs), 21 Jump Street (a re-envisioning of remaking a reboot), and The Three Stooges (a bastardization).
Continue Reading Minch’s Pop Tarts Episode 1: Everything Old is Old Again
Happy Father’s Day everybody! I figured there is no better way to spend today than by taking an in depth look at some classic TV patriarchs, and examining how the role itself has changed. For those of you who are wildly curious, this title refers to an old 70s cartoon of the same name. I [...]
Continue Reading Wait Till Your Father Gets Home
As a tenured Movie House employee, I begin with the fact that by the time you read this, you’ve probably already seen “The Dark Knight Rises.” That said, can you believe that twist at the end?!?!? It was Clock King and Calendar Man after all?!? Wow, Mr. Nolan, you nailed it!!! I consider myself a [...]
Continue Reading 90s Cartoon Round Up or “Yes, That Really Happened”
Back in the old days, when my movie house colleagues and I would watch movies after hours, we would have a catch phrase for when we would see a really good actor in a really terrible movie. “Well, (they’re) doing this to pay for a pool.” Since we are in the closing act of “The [...]
Continue Reading Let’s Do It For The Pool: Great Tales of Collecting a Paycheck
After a long summer of day drinking and pitiful baseball (God Damn Red Sox!!!), fall is finally upon us. Football (God Damn Bills!!!), pumpkin flavored beer, changing leaves, and of course, a return to school. Not for me, I already have my broadcasting degree in my closet contemplating its existence. This month, I want to [...]
Continue Reading Back to School Sale!!!
It’s election season gang, and frankly I’m sick of the same act over and over again. Two suits arguing about what’s best while we the people get caught in the crosshairs. It’s time to fix this country by jerking the wheel all the way to the left and into oncoming traffic!!! (Left being a direction [...]
Continue Reading Presents: Minch’s Dream Cabinet (…which shockingly isn’t filled with liquor!)
Hello there, pilgrims! If you look at all of the end of the year holidays, Thanksgiving is kind of the Jan Brady of the bunch. Sure you get to gorge yourself on turkey dinner, but there are no presents, no songs (Shut up Adam Sandler, that was twenty years ago) like Christmas. You can get [...]
Continue Reading Jive Turkeys, A Pop Culture Thanksgiving…
You might think, given the high levels of sarcasm in my previous articles, that someone like me would be far too cynical to savor the joys of the holiday season. Well friend, you couldn’t be more wrong, or drunk. Despite a lifetime worth of “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Minch” jokes, I don’t hate Christmas, [...]
Continue Reading What Christmas Means to Me.
Well boys and girls, this Pop Tart is going to be a little different. You see, I’ve always gone out of my way to keep my personal life out of this monthly article. There’s a time and a place for that type of writing, (my blog, which I shamelessly promote at the bottom of this [...]
Continue Reading Tales from the Movie House
Well, I’ve been out of the old Movie House for a while now, and I’m starting to the come to the realization that I am painfully unaware of what movies are coming out this year. I came to this conclusion while watching several Super Bowl movie teasers and going, “Wait, really? That’s this year?”
Side note: Did you make a Bane joke on social media when the lights went out at the Super Bowl? Be honest. Don’t think that just because some time passed we’ve forgotten. Yeah, I know you did. I forgive you…
Continue Reading Minch’s Guide to the Movies of 2013
I’ll be honest friends, this was going to originally be a tribute to the great fat people of comedy. I even had a title ready, “Happy St. Fat-rick’s Day!” Things started to get gummed up when I realized that the first four people I was writing about were dead, and the next three were dead [...]
Continue Reading Hey It’s That Guy!– MPT’s All Star Tribute to Character Actors
This month, I have an idea that could be described as, “As genius as it is stupid.” For your reading pleasure, I am going to review a few films from the collection of my girlfriend. I’ve been told that my writing is a bit guy centric, so it’s high time I expand my horizons. [...]
Continue Reading How Could This End Badly? Reviewing Your Girlfriend’s Movie Collection.
Many years ago in a far off land called, “The College at Brockport” yours truly used to review movies on live television. Yes, they used to give me a platform to both represent the school and pontificate my ham handed horseshit opinions about movies… I don’t know, maybe they were drunk. During my tenure, I [...]
Continue Reading The Mike Minch Movie Minute. (Depending on how fast you read this.)
Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve finally sunk to the point of writing a sequel to one of my previous entries. I feel dirty, not full on Barbershop 2: Back in Business dirty, but certainly Grown Ups 2 dirty. Yes, I am going to hate on that movie before it even comes out, because anyone behind Jack and Jill doesn’t deserve a free pass…
In my defense, this subject matter is fertile enough for two articles if not volumes and volumes of texts that could fill libraries that would one day be researched by alien life forms to fully grasp who we were as a species…Oh right, I haven’t told you what I’m writing about.
Continue Reading Yes That Really Happened Part 2: No, Seriously…
